Of Soul Reapers and Wizards
by amagaeru
Summary: Bleach Dresden files xover: Lexus is a teenager from Chicago who has been forced to move to Japan. Unfortunately no one thought to warn the island about American Wizards... poor soul reapers
1. prolog: gender confused dungeons

PAGE 1

Of Soul Reapers and Wizards Prolog: Gender Confused Dungeons

**The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!), but 'That's funny ...'**

**--Isaac Asimov**

I'm sitting here in this disgusting excuse of a dungeon, for a stupid plan that probably won't even work. What kind of a plan involves a team member getting caught in it? A dumb one, that's what, and you know I couldn't care less if they heard me talking smack about it. But seriously, this can't be a real dungeon. I mean, come on, what sort of a cell has a plush red velvet couch? Seriously! If I'm going to be held in a dungeon, I want the real thing; you know metal bars and concrete floors, not some pillows and shag carpet, although they are nice. What kind of a jail is this? I went through the trouble of getting caught and this is what I get? Oh for crying out loud!

All right, all right. I'm done ranting, but a dungeon should have an iron maiden, not a flat screen TV (not that it will work). Whoops, there goes one of the lights. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm called Lexus Delani (Del-A-nee). My real name? Not your problem; I never use it cause you never know what someone could do with your real name. I'm sixteen years old, and if schools in Japan would let me have a job, I would be a professional wizard, but they hate me so they don't. And just to get this clear, yes I am a girl; yeah you heard me, a FEAMALE WIZARD! I just moved to Japan from Chicago, Ill. Yaaay! Go me! Just look at where the latest move has landed me, a crappy dungeon that seems to be confused as to what exactly it is. Is it a holding cell or is it a parlor room? Well, I sure as 'shrooms don't know. I'm still ranting, aren't I? And for those of you who don't know a rhetorical question when it lodges itself in your eye; that was one.

Anyway, in order to fully appreciate my predicament you'll have to go back to the beginning of my story. No, not back to when I was born, just to my first day of high school in Japan, or if you want to get specific, this morning. And let me tell you, it was a fun one, but before I begin lets just get a few facts straight.

Okay, number one; yes I'm a real wizard. I'm not one of those Hogwarts people; love potions, wands and all that, no. Yeah I do magic, but my kind of magic is more alchemic than what you've seen or read. No I can't fly… currently, but I can find just about anything you've ever lost. I'm also good with dealing with spirits and Nevers.

Number two; I was trained by my Uncle Harry (ironic no?) Dresden in the windy city; look him up he's in the Yellow Pages, one of the few under Wizard.

Number Three; Nevers are my term for people from Nevernever, the home base for all of those things like fairies (fae), vampires, ghosts, weres, and others [this includes the things that go bump in the night]

Number Four; I am able to see ghosts and Nevers through my third eye, yeah it's located right smack dap in the middle of my forehead, and before you ask, no you can't see it weather or not it's open. And I can also sense a Never from how their brain wave patterns differ from humans (I'm NOT Psychic).

And just as a warning, don't get too close to me with any technology. It tends to explode or at least cease all function within the presence of a Wizard or magic. Always keep electronics of when dealing with wizards; you'll save yourself a butt load of headaches.

Well, let's get on with the story and I'll fill you in on everything else as we go along.

High Ho Silver, Away—sorry about that, sometimes I just can't help myself.

**--END PROLOG--**


	2. ch1: what happened to summer vacation

PAGE 3

Of Soul Reapers and Wizards

_Chapter 1: The Beginning of an End_

Part I: What Happened to Summer Vacation?

**Experience is a good teacher, but she send in terrific bills.**

**--Minna Thomas Antrim**

All right so I was on my way to school. Yup school, in June I might add. Haven't these people ever heard of summer vacation? Oh well, so school, right. Now I was walking down the sidewalk minding my own business when a group of five or six guys starts coming toward me. I scoot to the side to allow them to pass, but no, they can't do that my first day of school just has to be interesting. Well, they surround me and do what all guys do when they see a girl; act stupid. They ask me if I have anywhere to be, or some one to meet. Of course I have somewhere to be; can't you tell from the hideous grey skirt, matching grey blazer, and the evil red bow around the collar of my white button-down shirt that consists of my school uniform? Do any of those people designing these uniforms understand the concept of color? Not that I'm trying to offend anyone.

I continued walking down the sidewalk with this group of gnats bugging the crud out of me when this guy, we'll call him 'carrot top', walked up and asked me if I needed help. He kinda looked like a sun-burnt porcupine, not that I have anything against red heads. My answer of course was 'No dip Sherlock', which he didn't understand (go figure) so I had to switch to Japanese. Which thanks to a convenient potion, I can now read, write, and speak. All I will tell you about that is grinding up a Japanese dictionary and drinking it is not fun, but welcome to the life of internationally transplanted wizard.

Carrot Top then come out of nowhere with a kick to one of the guys' face. I, being the nice person I am *cough*, pointed and laughed when the gnat landed in a pile of conveniently placed dog excrement (no I didn't put that there, though I wish I had). The others were dealt with just as swiftly when they didn't take the hint. While he was finishing up, a girl with short black hair and side bangs walked up and whipped out a cell phone to check on something. We wore the same uniform so I assumed we went to the same school. I profusely thanked Carrot Top for his help and introduced myself. With some encouragement from the girl, Rukia Kuchiki, Carrot Top was introduced as Ichigo Kurosaki.

Now me being a wizard in all, it's completely habitual for me to memorize the person's name and exactly the way they say it, then repeat it back to them. You can guess how many weird looks I get when I do this, or how many people freak out, but you probably wouldn't be anywhere close. To have someone's complete name and be able to repeat it exactly the way it is said by the person is to have a large amount of power over someone. For instance, knowing a demon's name, and to say it right allows you to summon that demon under your control, if you have enough power to contain it. Then again demons go by many names and the name given to you may not be their full or real name. The summoning thing also applies to fairies, but you have to be a little sneakier about it, by giving bribes, setting traps and such. You can also get a similar effect if you don't have their name, by using a piece of hair or something close to their person; it's not as strong, but works well for finding someone.

These two lovely people were nice enough to walk with me to school which was a big help considering I was walking in the wrong direction; those dang gnats and their annoyingness got me all turned around. The school was a large 8 or 9 story building. Oh my 'lanta, was I going to have fun trying to find my way around. They escorted me to the office where I was dropped like a sack of potatoes as they continued on to class, talk about being a third wheel. You could so tell they had wanted to talk but wouldn't around me, must have been something secret. I wonder if they're going out. Anyway I was able to get my schedule from the woman at the desk with minimal catastrophe; well until I got close enough, then the computer fizzled out. I'm talking sparks and a mini boom you guys, but luckily my schedule had already been printed out. Thank the 'Shrooms; I was in enough trouble with the computer, not that they knew it was me, without being late to class.

I was sent to the book room to collect all the texts I would need for my classes. Needless to say I got lost; what was I supposed to do? The stairwell I was told to go down only went up, and the first door on the right was a restroom. Thank you wonderful person who gave me my sense of direction, yeah it stinks. And the guy who came up with these school uniforms, he needs to be shot in the foot for being the pervert he is. Skirts and stairs DON'T mix.

All righty I was lost and some teacher was yelling at me for wearing the wrong shoes in the school. The teacher was almost overly muscular, had a creepy sideburn/moustache combo. and was in definite need of anger-management, after all that's what kept me from kneeing him where the-sun-don't-shine; well that and my dad would kill me. After that I was sent back down stairs to change my shoes, which didn't help at all and got me even more lost. Where was the office again? Somehow I managed to get myself up on the roof. Forget being late for class, I would be lucky if got out of the school before I was an old maid. Giving up, I leaned against the wall and pulled out my I-pod, it's the mini blue kind. Yeah, I know technology and I don't mix, but Apple has this replacement policy and I get a new one every time it breaks. And there it went… again, so much for that great idea. Following that was the point where I gave up, threw my hands in the air and slid down, mumbling curses at the fragile nature of technology for all I was worth. Well at least the lock on the door wouldn't get in my way on the way back in.

And just my luck, the door swung open, admitting five people, including 'Carrot Top' Kurosaki and Rukia Kuchiki. The others were an interesting group of people; a beastly guy with tan skin and dark hair, his opposite (excluding the hair color) who didn't look any less intimidating, and a girl with rather large assets and long brown hair containing clips that I hadn't seen since third grade. They were talking about something called a 'hallow', whatever that was, but before getting deep into the conversation Carrot Top spotted me. Hey, I wasn't listening to their conversation cause that would be eavesdropping and that's bad. I only do that when I'm bored, which incidentally, I was at that moment, so never mind.

After first quieting their friends, Rukia and Carrot Top approached me cautiously. I pretended to have been listening to my officially dead Ipod. Evil 21st century technology, it never runs the same way twice with me. Looking up fast when their shadows fell on me, I acted startled. Have I ever told you how good I am at acting? I'm awesome; nobody else in the world can act like me, except for that broken computer in the office. Actually, the only time I can cover my emotions or anything like that is when I'm in a possible life or death situation, other wise it's like looking through that clear plastic wrap (you know, the kind that always rips when you accidentally pull on it too hard). Anyway, can I get off topic or what? I got to cut down on the tangents while I'm on it.

I attempted to explain what had happened, but by the looks on their faces they didn't believe a word of the truth. They probably wouldn't have been less believing if I had told them I had flown up there. Once again, I'm sorry my sense of direction is not up to par. Rather then fight me on it; Rukia and the brunet helped me to my feet and began to walk with me down the stairs. By the time we got down the second set of stairs, the bell signaling lunch (or so they told me) rang, well there goes half my day. The hallways suddenly pushed in as a swarm of students erupted from their classrooms. I once again found myself face to face with the teacher from earlier. He then proceeded to yell at me about proper dress code, that's twice now if you're keeping count. I was about to show off my linguistic talent by yelling 'unsightly' words at him in German, when Rukia and the brunet, Orihime Inoue, found me and explained the situation to him. Or at least they tried to, but he was too caught up in his lecture. When he turned around for dramatic effect we ran for it.

We had gotten down to the first floor relatively quickly, seeing as how the speech had lasted around five minutes and everyone else had cleared out. The girls lead me to the book room; which was located right across the empty space with the 'plush' chairs from the office. I can truthfully tell you that I felt pretty darn smart right about then. I gave the werewolf in the book room my schedule. I'm talking an actual werewolf, not the whole put on the pelt belt (pelties) and then transform or the 'I'm cursed to become this every night' (C.C. or cursed _canis_) but the 'I think I can, I think I can' kind of were! WOOT! My very first encounter with a never in Japan went off without a hitch, not that anyone at that point knew what I am. He took it back into the large white space of shelves and books. All holy 'shrooms, these weres were getting hotter by the decade; I guess it's genetic. Seriously, he looked like he just walked out of one of the figures from ancient Greece, and I'm sure his body is just as nice as his face was. Oh well, as long as he wasn't hurting anyone I saw no reason he shouldn't be there.

Following the retrieval of my books, the three of us headed to the 'Shoe Room' (ok, maybe I'm the only one who calls it that) located on the second floor at the end of the long hallway on the left. Hey, now that I wasn't wearing my Mary Jane's maybe I wouldn't get yelled at, yeah right. The shoes the school 'gave' us were quite interesting, I mean come on what school lets their kids go around in slippers? An awesome one, that's what. And now for the best part of my day: LUNCH TIME!

We proceeded to go up the rest of the stairs back to the roof. It felt kinda weird because everyone up there had bento boxes while I was eating a turkey sandwich and pickles, or maybe that was just me. The guys, Carrot Top, Chad Yasutora, and Uryu Ishida, were talking in low voices and looking (Carrot Top) over at us girls (me) every couple of sentences. Wow, I wonder what they had been talking about, hmmm such a toughie. Well before they could confront us (me) Rukia's cell phone went off signaling a new message, I started wondering how long that phone would last around me. Everyone else stood up and made their way to the emergency door leading directly to the ground. I now knew how to get out of school without getting totally lost, go me I deserved some ice cream. Being the awesome-est person in the entire history of the world I just sat there and blinked…slowly.

**--END PART ONE--**


	3. ch1: part II my first hollow!

PAGE 2

Of Soul Reapers and Wizards

_Chapter 1: The Beginning of an End_

Part II: My First Hallow!

**Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down, and those that get lost.**

**--Russell Baker**

After about 5 minutes I realized that a) I was on the roof by myself b) I had a means of escaping and c) I would never find my way around this maze of a school without some help. Ice cream it was. I made my way down the stairs and pulled a 007 number across the school's courtyard towards the gate. It went reasonably well up until the point when that crazy teacher from earlier leaned out of his window and began, once again, to yell at me. I crossed the remaining distance at a sprint, passed the gate and down some streets, roads, and alley ways. This was when I realized that I had left my Rainbows in the 'shoe' room, darn. Now the question became, how was I supposed to find my ice cream now?

For all the Holy and Glorious 'shrooms, why am I cursed with such a directional incapability? There was nothing else to do but to continue walking in the direction I was. Eventually I came upon an arcade…I knew this was a bad idea but it had games and PRIZES!!! I got in three games of shoot the duck and a round of Dance Dance Revolution before most of the electronics were shot. I quietly left, sprinting down the street. Great, let the boredom continue. I guess I could've gone home or back to school. Except at school there was that shoe-obsessed teacher who yelled way too much (not to mention everyone I knew had already left), and at home there was Yuki. She's my father's maid, who would love to get me in trouble by telling him I skipped, that B-ah is such a suck-up. Deciding against either option, I kept walking.

After about an hour or two (possibly three), and a stop at a clothing outfitter, I came across a nice little park with benches. Yay benches! My feet had begun hurting me about three blocks back; it was past time for a rest. I sat on a bench beneath a sakura tree and pulled out my partially failing cell phone to check the time. It was around 2.30… NAP TIME! I slid off the side of the bench and rested my back up against the tree trunk. I threw my bag next to me and set the alarm on my phone for 3.10. I was hoping that it wouldn't die on me before then. Off to 'Dream Land' I went. It was a nice dream… I think it had to do with a secret pumpkin pie recipe and running a crab shack, weird I know. I was enjoying my run away imagination up until I got hit in the head. I jumped awake and looked around finding the UFO that woke me up, stupid apple. Wiping it off on my sleeve I bit into the offending granny smith.

Locking on to the trace left behind on the apple, I was able to connect it to some random kid behind the bushes on my right. I got up slowly as if to leave, headed in the opposite direction then doubled back ending up behind the kid. Muwahahaha, I scared the snot out of that kid. You can bet that he wouldn't be playing tricks like that again anytime soon. Right after that, my 'spidy-senses' started tingling; something super natural was going down not too far from there.

I ran down the street I had taken to get to the park. At this point I can tell you that I would have died for a pair of tennis shoes. Anyway, I was running and I kind of tripped on this hose. WHO, I ask in the name of all that's Holy 'shrooms, leaves a hose in the middle of the sidewalk? On ward ho! I followed my nose down a block, turned left and went two blocks, then right and four more blocks. I ended up at a small stream running through the city. I could feel something 'neverish' but I couldn't see it. When I say 'neverish' I mean that it felt like something from the Nevernever, a ghoul perhaps, but it felt wrong. It felt dead, wrath of the deceased in the form of a ghoul? Or maybe a ghost of a ghoul? Gathering some of my source I forced my alternative eye open. The third eye is a creepy thing, anything and everything you see is permanently burned into your memory, and when you can live up to like 300 or 400 years, it sucks.

I scanned my surrounding. What I saw was sooooo not pretty. It was long and lanky, had four arms and two legs, armor like a scorpion (Including the tail equipped with stinger), and around seven feet tall. Ew, bugs! It was a ghastly thing. The head was round with large pointed teeth and contained two black pits for eyes. The odd thing was, on the left side of its chest it sported a sizeable hole. Creepy. It was definitely time for some wizard-ing.

I pulled a 'charm' bracelet out of my blazer pocket. It was a silver hooped bracelet with silver, gold, and bronze shield 'charms' adorning it. I had stolen the idea (and some of the workings) from Uncle Harry. The shield bracelet is an extremely complex working but is definitely worth all the time and effort. Unfortunately it sucks up a lot of power to use, but for as long as you can hold it, it works like you have no idea how awesomely-tastic. The bracelet blocks bullets, bright lights, fire, and even the heat from fire! **IT IS UNBELIEVABLE!! **Ok, I think that's enough gloating.

I hooked it around my wrist and brought out my 'perfectly normal', if not slightly chewed looking, No. 2 pencil. I had spent the entire last two months carving tiny little runes into it, turning it into the ULTIMATE offensive device. Unfortunately, I up till this point I hadn't had the time to test it.

Anyway, back to the ugly thingy. So it was all like 'he he he (or ku ku ku, which ever you prefer) high spirit energy and a weak frame…perfect.' Weak frame? What the heck was he talking about? I'll have you know I can squat 120lbs. And spirit energy? Is that something like _the force? _That was a conveniently placed Star Wars reference…nice. Bringing my wonderful no. 2 pencil to the front of my body, I summoned the annoyance I felt from his degrading the female form and let lose a high voltage electric shock from the eraser. The shock hit him like a eighteen wheeler going 3omph over the 70mph speed limit; which I'm sure is quite painful, personally I never have been ran over…as of yet. The thing lay twitching in the dent made by the voltage, a little less power next time I thought. Then I went down my mental check list: bad guy incapacitated…check, new weapon awesome…check, not completely worn out from using new weapon… check, figure out how to get home…still no clue, and worse yet I didn't get to use my shield. Well at least I could remedy the getting home problem.

I grabbed what was left of my lunch out of its paper bag. It consisted of a half eaten bag of goldfish, some leftover Oreos, 5 m&m's, and an unopened juice box (Maddie, my other babysitter, had packed me two). I lifted the pocketknife, previously concealed in my arm holster, towards my hand and nicked a finger. Smearing the drop of blood on the back of a cookie, I then brought out a thimble and poured some juice. By using the chalk from my pencil box I created a circle around the food. I then broke the circle having whispered the name I needed thrice. Following that I proceeded to act like a puma and ran. And like a fly to honey did the poor devil come. I lay peeking behind my corner waiting till the moment came. The second he took a bite out of the cookie, having ignored the rest of the food like I knew he would, the circle snapped right back up into place capturing the fairy. I exited the hiding spot and approached the raving fairy.

After a short discussion involving me laying out cookies and milk on the back veranda for the next week, the fae agreed to lead me home. Personally I think he got the better end of that deal.

**--END PART TWO--**


	4. ch1: part III Theatre of the Absurd

**AN: i would here by like to say i own nothing- not the paper i print on or the computer i type on... yet**

**Of Soul Reapers and Wizards**

_Chapter 1: The Beginning of an End_

Part III: Theatre of the Absurd

**Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it.**

**--Truman Capote **

You know now that I think about it, there was no reason for my life to become this complicated. No reason at all. I mean sure I can use magic and do things normals only dream of doing, but seriously why must my life be put on the line every time I go to a new place? Why can't those old hags and hobos that attempt to recruit me ever put forth any effort to save the day? Oh, they've done their time? BS. What's the point in living that long if you no longer do anything? But, then again it could be that they are more preoccupied with the parasites and others on a more pressing front. Although I must hand it to them, placing an unprepared wizard straight into enemy lines is not the smartest idea. No; not at all.

Ok if that stupid lamp doesn't stop flickering—never mind then. Darn lamps and their electric bulbs. Alright, now I'm sure you are all just raring to go on with the story, but I've gotta take a break from that for a moment. Just a minute I promise I won't waste your time…much. This story takes place awhile back, long before I jumped ship to Japan and even before I was apprenticed.

Chicago, Christmas Eve. It was snowing outside and no one in his or her right mind would have left the house. But, I guess even then I was a tad bit eccentric. For those who don't know eccentric equals a nice way to say crazy people, mostly attributed to those with money [not me]. Daddy was working for a large law firm in one of those overly large buildings in the heart of the city. As I said before it was Christmas Eve and daddy was working late. So, I thought it was a great idea for me to go surprise him at work. My nanny thought that I should shut up and go sit in the corner, but with some more choice words. But I was six and bull headed, not that I'm any less now.

I escaped the apartment building and snuck past the doorman. It was snowy and cold, but I was six and I had a Wonder Woman jacket with matching gloves. I had gone with my daddy to his office numerous times so I knew the way. I went to the subway bought my tokens and boarded the rail system. I got off at the right stop, but was distracted by a group of carolers. My dad told me never to talk to strangers so I just sat and listened. While I was staring off into space a movement caught my eye. There were gnomes edging around the people, no one else noticed them. They were GNOMES, I was compelled to follow and I did. I wasn't going to talk to them, unless of course they introduced themselves first.

We went down on to the tracks. Well, they went down and I shadowed them. I chose to ignore my father's rules about not stepping on the tracks in favor of curiosity. I followed them to a side tunnel and then another. After an unknown span of time, and turns we reached old Chicago. The original city had sunk deep into the mud, the new city was built on top and the old city lays forgotten below the surface. The city has since become inhabited by a new host of beings. Fae have come from all walks of life to cause havoc for all humanity. Haha, not really, but I felt the need to say that. But really the fae courts are very not good for humans on average.

I was approaching what I guess you would call the city limits, when one of the fae popped out at me. It resembled a giant praying mantis. It then tried to grab me. From behind him came a voice 'fuego,' the monster was blown aside by a blast of flames. Standing a few feet away stood a tall, lanky man in a trench coat. Harry Dresden, later dubbed Uncle Harry, saved me from an uncertain fate with the fae.

And that, my friends, is why I'm afraid of bugs. Not to mention, why I feel the need to destroy all insect-like life forms. Wasn't that a lovely detour? I think that will better prepare you for what follows next.

**--END PART THREE--**

***sigh* it's been awhile and then again i come back with a lovely back story :) i have my work cut out for me! (there is nothing like procrastination!)**

**~ amagaeru **


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